half an amber rose, on the rocks please.

Posted in detention, plagiarism, raise your hand by Staff on April 11, 2009

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“Sometimes in life, you need a change,” she Twitters.

“Something deeper than what you thought you were capable of …

Something that displays the ‘I don’t give a f—‘ attitude that was always present, but never showcased …

Something that will shock your mother, but make her call you a ROCK STAR.”

We can sorta appreciate the rebel tone and deep message but this baldy screams more like Britney Spears pre-breakdown … not even half the haute of Amber Rose’s shine. Maybe if she went all the way? I don’t know … Truly, at this point we’ve seen it all. Kelis, Kesh, J Davey … And, for some reason, this girl Alice Dellal gets the same exact high fashion ROCK STAR coiffure right but Cassie doesn’t quite do it … for us anyway. She may not be a bad ass but she’s still a flawless beauty. So darn gorg! We’ll continue to hate on that.

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Posted in detention, homeroom by Staff on March 17, 2009

We did the grueling internships before MTV hooked Lauren Conrad up with a stint at Teen Vogue where she rustled through clothing on racks but mainly lamented about boyfriends and sucky best friends. Not reality in the slightest. We were dragging ridiculously heavy garment bags to 62 Grand and delivering hundreds of invitations by hand and on foot before Whitney Port even knew who Kelly Cutrone was. We gave away more than a few Friday nights and would have given up our life … our love is true and unwavering but that’s REAL life. While ‘reality’  these days are filled with ‘Lala Land’ delusions, the truth is the publishing world is dying and you have to donate a vital organ to the cause, know people, or be pigeons-poop-on-me-daily lucky to land an assistant job anywhere. We gave up just last week and have secret plans of skipping town entirely. Especially since we watch publications fold up,  stores and brands close and die on a daily basis. It’s depressing. I’ll fill you in soon.

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What’s up Doc?

Posted in detention, lunch money, raise your hand by Staff on February 26, 2009

drmartenshighheeledbootbrownsfethebloglogo_signI e-mailed the fingernails off of Buki Fadipe at Brown’s Fashion until I got some attention. He or she tried to slide right over my request. You fail at your job, by the way. How about trying to make your company more money? I must own these Darcie heeled Dr. Marten’s immediately. I dare these customer service advisors at online boutiques to ignore me. Do your funkette job! I will blow up your inbox until I receive the appropriate attention or response. The pulldown menu to select sizes has had errors for days on this item and I was more than itching to enter my credit card information before I caught my senses! I began to dream of holding these bad boys in my hands, the fresh out of the box smell … I couldn’t wait to lace them just up right. This purchase was going to make up for the rude Dr. Martens USA site that puts things on sale for one day then discontinues the style and replaces the product with its ugly twin sibling. I’ll have to pass on the chunky sole Doc. To each their own. I had to muddle around the internet to find them on Online Shoes. At a 40% discount, I couldn’t complain;  I was all smiles … that was until I found out my size was sold out.

I don’t care about this and that and sold out and such. Lies. They still appear on the site. Buki Fadipe, find me the last box of size 7’s in the warehouse and you can be our best friend!

Pastry caught stealing cupcakes?

Posted in detention, homeroom, Your Fashion Fix by Staff on January 18, 2009

the cut put us on first.

and, we had to keep diggin’. we found the goods but weren’t motivated to comment until MTV baited us. I’m indulging in my guiltiest pleasure right now; another ridiculous episode of Daddy’s Girls. It starts as Jess accompanies Angela on another shopping excursion at the neighborhood Intermix. We’re not mad at you Ang; if you got it, flaunt it. She excuses herself on the pretense that they can call it market research.

That presumption tickled us because perhaps they ought to have done some REAL market research or they wouldn’t have found themselves in this mess.

Truth be told, I’m neither a fan of Pastry nor Johnny Cupcakes but it’s relatively easy to find out about either brand. Any one who maintains an ear to the streetwear market a la Hypebeast would have read about the Johnny’s colorful designs that have stirred a lot of interest particularly in Los Angeles (the sister’s new stomping grounds) as there is a free standing store on Melrose.

Well, we hurt our discerning eyes following this and we think Johnny definitely has an argument here. One shirt is an obvious knock-off and the others bear an unsettling likeness. I think these girls have a serious issue at hand and they better fire their designer because I think it’s pretty safe to say they don’t design this stuff themselves. We haven’t even seen them work on anything related to the business since the series on MTV started. I like the girls though and totally believe they had an authentic creative idea when they started with the sneakers. Maybe they just aren’t ready for this wide expansion into apparel and accessories. One step at a time, ladies.

Doing it like she’s NOT doing it for TV

Posted in detention, research by Staff on January 12, 2009

Clearly there is no amount of clever editing that can make Whitney Port’s life interesting enough for televison.

NEXT!

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funk envy

Posted in detention, Your Fashion Fix by Staff on January 3, 2009

The paparazzi pull overtime shifts trying to catch Whitney Port now that she’s a certified reality STAR .. and not a contributing ‘actress’. While Lauren feigns a breather, Whitney is heading center stage and we’re abstaining from our daily dose of ‘haterade’ (we indulge in healthy moderation) until ‘The City’ debuts. However, when I caught sight of this … we all took an entire bottle to the head. She’s not doing our bag any justice!

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We must have it. We will have it. Even if we have to ambush her as she arrives in ‘the city’ and …

“Smack the ____ in her face
Take her Jeremy Scott bag and the sweat shirt off her back
Jab her if she act …”

Excuse me, I constantly find myself quoting Biggie lately. 12 days until Notorious.

Oh, and next week Whitney on the The City. MTV.

Never Ever [again] 21!

Posted in detention, lunch money, recess, snapshot by Staff on December 20, 2008

I definitely endorse Forever 21. I’d never turn down a cheaper alternative to trendy impulse buys that will fall off their hanger and find a home on my closet floor in a few months. Still, I’m a faceless Internet lurker. I pretty much wont touch a Forever 21 store with a twenty foot pole. It’s an unforgiving mess from the door every single time at every location I’ve tried and I’m more convinced after today’s experience.

I walked around aimlessly for about ten minutes in the Roosevelt Field Mall spot. There wasn’t a single thing I found interesting enough and to say that it was crowded would be a gross understatement. The line at the register was 23 poseur fashionistas long when I entered. That should have served as a sign that customer service was truly lacking but on the way out I suffered an aha! moment spotting a faux fur vest on a mannequin set on a raised (read: unreachable unless I didn’t mind looking unforgivably fiendish) table and there had been none on the floor or I would have caught it earlier.

I am very proud of my discerning eye. I have found many a hidden treasure amidst the ‘garbage’ in thrift shops and Marshall’s alike. I very politely approached seven employees to inquire about the vest which unless I scrounged around the store checking every which way, over and under, they would not help and I could by no means buy it off of the mannequin.

Are you kidding me? The last one in the store? and I couldn’t have it? I have worked in various retail environments where that was pretty much an every day occurrence. Whatever happened to the customer is always right, anyway? It’s Christmas. I did another fruitless circle of the store and sulked my way out. Yes, I was sorely disappointed and what made it worse? There was another vest on the mannequin in the window taunting me. Are you serious?

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Well, I returned thirty minutes later and promptly undressed the easier accessible mannequin in the window removing my reward.

It pays to funk etiquette, people.

(more…)

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